If you listened to my podcast last week, you'll know that everything sort of went to shit for me in a number of ways, some of them quite literal. Let me set the scene...

It's Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018.

First thing in the morning, one of our cats (we have two cats and two dogs to keep harmony in the pet universe) has been having kidney issues and heart troubles and has lost some weight from not eating, so my wife took him to the vet in her Ford Fusion Energi. Undoubtedly traumatized by the experience, the cat does absolutely nobody a favor and spends the ride home from the vet shitting himself, and then freaking out and jumping all over the shit. Which, fortunately, was confined to the crate in which he was being transported.

People, if you do not transport your pets in crates, not only are you asking for shit all over your seats and carpets, it is extremely dangerous for the animals if you get into a wreck and they go flying.

Speaking of wrecks, that’s where the evening comes in.

This video was captured by my Yi dashboard camera as I was t-boned while driving through a green light on my way home last night. I really pride myself on being able to anticipate other drivers and having great situation awareness, but I honestly did not see the impact coming at all. You may have noticed toward the end of the clip that you hear me laugh, or at least I think that’s me and not the episode of the Everyday Driver podcast I was listening to. Apart from the fact that it makes me sound like I’ve lost my mind, I think it’s because a driver had just run the red light going eastbound on the road I was crossing. There are three lanes going that way and only one lane going westbound, so I was looking to the left to make sure nobody else was going to run that light and hit me. And then pow, I’m hit by someone in the only lane going westbound. And this wasn’t some sort of light-turns-green-I-gun-it thing. The eastbound driver blew the light a second after it turned red and I waited until I saw that the others going that way had stopped.

By the time I got hit, the light had been green for at least five or six seconds. The guy who hit me offered no explanation for why he wasn’t paying any attention to the light. He did, however, admit fault to both me and the police and apologized. I mean I know he didn’t mean to do it, his 2010 Escape is just as messed up as the Mazda.

Fortunately, both he and I are okay. I got a knock on the knee and am still a bit sore, but I don’t anticipate any lasting effects. It might have been a different story if he had hit me on my driver’s side. I’m waiting to hear about whether or not my car is totaled, but it took a really big hit and I would be more surprised if they try to fix a five year old Mazda with 85,000 miles on it.

They say bad things come in threes, so naturally the universe had to bend us over a barrel and show us the 50 states yesterday when we got home after my wife picked me up from the police station where I was taken after my car was towed.

We got home, raised the garage door and went inside, closing the door as we entered the house. After a couple of bangs and squeaks, we rushed back out to the garage to find the door had managed to detach itself from the track on four of the eight rollers and was perilously hanging, unable to be lifted or lowered. But this is where our luck (finally) started to change. We have amazing neighbours. Honestly, my wife and I feel like we won the neighbor lottery. Next door lives a contractor and his son, who is a small engine certified mechanic and who has already helped out with a few things I couldn’t figure out myself. One of his best friends, who I frequently talk to about trucks when he’s over, is honest to god an overhead door technician. He was over in 15 minutes and in 30 minutes we had the door closed and back on the track. It’s not totally fixed yet, but should be soon, and it’s no longer an open invitation for someone to rob us of all our shit. So thank you thank you thank you Nick and Garret, you guys are awesome!

My first consideration is the Mazda CX-9. This is the safe choice. The 2016 model is drastically improved over its predecessor, offers tastefully sharp styling, a pretty rewarding ride and decent handling and fairly good power from a four cylinder skyactiv turbo engine. It also has a third row of seats, which is great for winery trips or hauling other people’s children to be eaten by German fairy tale grandparents. It's not especially interesting or special in any way, though.

Next is the Toyota 4Runner. It’s no secret, I’ve been a fan of four runners for a long time and the rugged utility would be nice on lake weekends or for home renovation projects, which seem to be basically the only thing I do anymore outside of work and this podcast. The styling of the most recent generations isn’t great, in my opinion, and the power from the 4-litre V6 is okay, but it definitely doesn't have the speed, handling or enjoyment to drive I'm looking for. The 4Runner does have a third row and off-road capabilities which I might use more if I had them.

I'm also considering the Toyota Tacoma. Like the 4Runner, I’ve been a fan of the indestructible Hilux or Tacoma for a long time, and that sort of nostalgia and brand loyalty plays strongly in the inclusion of them both in my decision. The 2016 model introduced some great changes to the Tacoma in a nicer interior, more aggressive styling and a bunch of handy features that pickup enthusiasts understand better than I do. Again, points are gained for utility, but no third row seat, and lost for ride, handling and speed. But reliability and resale value of both these trucks is absolutely off the charts, so if it turns out two years down the road that I’m ready to be back in a fast car, I won’t lose much when it comes time to sell.

The Lexus IS 350 is not the ISF because I’ve checked prices and those are well out of the range of feasibility, but the IS350 is no slouch. It’s quick, it’s reasonably nimble and it’s a nice, comfortable place to be inside. It’s crazy reliable, but not especially interesting, and recent model years have become afflicted with lexus-face, which sort of looks like cyborgs mated with the aliens from predator, but also with Lightning McQueen from cars and the outcome was, well, not good. Interior space is also apparently cramped so fitting all my stuff may be a challenge.

The the successor to the G35 and G37 sedans, the Infiniti Q50, retains the 3.7 litre V6 that makes my heart skip a beat when I hear it. There’s no question that nostalgia plays into this because I miss my G35 coupe so badly, but is it a good idea to basically get the same car, but with four doors? Can I move forward while also moving back? Speed, handling and reliability are all checked but the Q50 is fairly ubiquitous on the roads these days, so it’s not very interesting or special. But I know how that smile is going to crack across my face when I punch it and hear that exhaust note.

I'm also considering the Infiniti FX50. I’ve talked about this on the podcast before. Nissan basically took the G35 platform, stretched it a bit, put a larger wagon body on it, lifted it a few inches and threw out the V6, replacing it with their biggest engine, a 5 litre V8. At almost 400 horsepower, this is the most excessively fast on this list, and the S model has rear wheel steering and active dampening, so sharp handling and fun to drive are definitely in the “yes” camp. I’ve also heard many positive things about the long term reliability of the V8 and it has more cargo space than the Mazda (albeit barely), so it’s fairly practical. It definitely is not fuel efficient, but it’s interesting and special.

Number seven on the list (if you're counting) is the Acura TSX Sportwagen. I looked at these when I got the Mazda and really liked them, but they were slightly out of my price range. Five years later and guess what? They’re in my price range. Go figure. They’re totally practical, totally reliable, somewhat rare because they didn’t sell very well in the states because they were released before the wagon renaissance, but also without Acura’s lovely V6. All that weight has to cope with a 200 horsepower four cylinder, and it does pretty well. It’s not fast, but it’s not slow, and it handles well for having a pretty big body. I liked it a lot when I drove it before and that probably won’t change. But will it put as big a smile on my face?

Lastly, the Volvo V60 T6 R design. It’s 325 horsepower and 354 pound feet of nordic fury, but packaged in an unassuming estate package. Powerful enough with its turbocharged straight six to put a smile on my face and practical enough to haul all my photography gear doing it. The interior may look like it’s from 2006, but coming from the Mazda, almost anything is a step up. Reliability on newer Volvos is somewhat questionable. They’re not as bulletproof as they used to be, and it’s not the Polestar version that is completely mental, but I think the T6 R-Design is still pretty special.

That about does it for my unfortunate tale and quest for a new car pending the decision of my insurance. If you have any suggestions that you didn't see on my list or experience (positive or negative) with the cars I'm considering, please leave me a comment below!